so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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