I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Houston, we have a squirter
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
