I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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