Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
