Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
