Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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