found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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