Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just sucked dick on a ferry
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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