So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently you make a good broom.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
