Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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