New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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