it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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