take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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