I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
