All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
