Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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