What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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