I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
