How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
