My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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