the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
