allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
