Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
