You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
