PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
