Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
