A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
nutella sex= disaster
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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