my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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