Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
