Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You smell like stripper and shame
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
