His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
