before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
