one two three fourrrrnication!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
