Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
