I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
