ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
