Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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