so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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