It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
