By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
