What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
