Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
