Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
