We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
