also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
