Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm bleeding and have questions
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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