No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
