she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
as a side note pls kill me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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