She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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