my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
