We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
